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Monday, April 29, 2013

Are You a Relationship Saboteur?

Some people sabotage their relationships without even realizing it. They start fights, leave out important details when telling their loved one something important or don't say what's on their minds and get angry that their needs aren't being met. If you're a relationship saboteur, try these techniques to help you release the need to break your own heart.

Check Your Expectations

One way some people sabotage relationships is by setting unrealistic expectations and then being angry that the other person failed to meet them. If you're constantly upset or angry with your partner, ask yourself what your expectations are. If your expectations include your partner "never" or "always" doing something or knowing how you feel about an issue without you saying anything, those expectations are probably unrealistic. 

Take Responsibility For Getting What You Want

Sometimes we fall into a victim mentality in which we see our partner to blame for conflicts and think we can't do anything about it. If you're sabotaging your relationship via anger, try asking yourself, "What can I do to resolve this problem?" When you feel empowered to solve relationship problems, you feel less of a need to self sabotage!

Remind Yourself Who Your Partner Is

Sometimes we sabotage our relationships because someone in our past has hurt us. It can help to stay in the present; your current partner isn't necessarily going to react the same way as your ex or your parents did. So if you're upset because you expect your partner to act like someone else did, it can help to ask yourself, "If my partner isn't <past person's name>, how might I react differently now?" 

If you can't seem to stop sabotaging your relationships, you may need help overcoming a negative life script. Please register for Rewrite Your Life Script today and see your relationship success change this summer.